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| gifts, gifts, gifts |
I love weddings. More especially, I love helping to plan weddings. Planning my own was one of the great joys of my life. It was exciting and fun and just plain delightful; not to mention that the actual day went perfectly; my bridal party - the best friends we could ask for and I got to marry the man of my dreams. What could be better? Okay, stop gagging. It's true. However, since my wedding has since been long over, I content myself with being available to help friends, if they so choose, with their own weddings.
Recently, I was asked to be in a wedding and to help plan the bridal shower and I thought: why not do a blog post? Lots of people plan showers all the time and sometimes it's nice to see how other people are planning them. In my own research, I found that I could not find a comprehensive step by step plan of someone's bridal shower. Plus, it is remotely connected to food. There is usually food at a bridal shower. So here it goes. This is how I plan a shower:
First, decide who is going to be the coordinator. Too many people in charge makes for a mess so there needs to be one person that is fielding the ideas and opinions and handling the final decision making and planning. This person is usually the maid of honour but if there isn't one, then someone needs to step up and be the go-to person. If you're that person, your job begins now.
Get in contact with the other bridesmaids, the mother of the bride and the groom. Ask them for their opinions. Though the shower is usually thrown by the bridesmaids, some moms do like to have a little bit of a say on what goes on at the shower. The groom may also have thoughts or ideas especially if the bride may have told him what she wants for her shower. Compile these ideas into the beginnings of a plan.
Decide when and where you are going to have the shower. In this case, we had it at my mother's house because she's awesome and let us, even though she knows it's going to make a mess of her clean house. (I think I've told you all about my mother's tendency towards compulsive neatness) She has a perfect party house: large kitchen area with a good buffet flow, big living room, in case it rains and a large deck that overlooks her enormous fish pond. Very lovely! Not to mention, already clean.
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| Mama's backyard |
Once you decide on a venue, choose a theme. A theme can be anything from luau to the colour pink. There are tons of choices. Like I said, a theme doesn't even need to be super specific, like luau, beach or garden tea party. It can be merely a colour, or mix of colours or something that the bride really loves, like flowers, Paris, art, cooking, etc. For this shower, we chose polka dots. We also chose a colour theme of pink and lime green so as to not get trippy with the polka dots. Too many dots of too many colours could get...weird. Anyway, pick a theme.
Remind the Bride to register. Give her a deadline if she's the kind of bride that needs one and make sure that she gets sufficient registry cards (the little store cards that say, "The Bride has registered at...). The stores want to give you only 25 or so usually, but have her nag them. They will give you more. After all, the cards don't cost them that much to print and they make it back once people buy gifts there. When she's finished, be sure to get those cards from her as you'll need to add them to the invitations. In a pinch, you can also have "The Bride has registered at....(list store names)" printed on the actual invitation.
Next will be getting the guest list and counting how many shower invitations you'll be needing. Small digression here: In my humble opinion, it is tacky and inappropriate to invite persons to the shower that are not invited to the wedding. It's like saying, "We can't have everyone we'd like to at the wedding, but still we want your gifts." Also, those women who are out of state should still get an invitation to the shower. They may want to know where the bride has registered so as to get her a gift anyway and then no one feels like they've been slighted.
You probably noticed that I said every woman. Again, in my humble opinion, I don't think that men belong at bridal showers. I also realize that I am occasionally overruled here but that's what I think. If you are not of my opinion, that's fine. Substitute the word persons for the word women.
End of digression. When you have the list of who is being invited to the shower, choose and order your invitations. If you are getting them printed, triple check your wording and spelling before ordering them. The invitation should include: The bride's name; the date of the shower; the time of the shower; the complete address of where the shower will be given; who they should RSVP to and that person's phone number (which is usually the coordinator of the shower as it makes things easier) the date in which to RSVP by and who the shower is given by (if you choose to add that). Even though you are the planner of the shower, the invite should say given by: and then the names of the bridesmaids. If there are a lot of bridesmaids, just put given by: her bridesmaids instead of individual names. In my opinion, it shouldn't say given by: the planner's name. Every bridesmaid is helping to throw the shower so every bridesmaid is giving it. While on that subject, be sure to continue to ask the bridesmaids for their opinions with regard to venue, theme, invites etc. You want to make sure that everyone feels included. Granted, you won't be able to use everybody's ideas and not everyone will have the last say but nonetheless, they should feel included.
Once invitations have been ordered, start putting together a menu. If you are going to have it catered, choose a caterer and discuss with them the menu. If you are going to have people make food, deciding on a specific menu saves time and confusion later. Since we decided to have the shower in the afternoon, we did finger foods and desserts. Since it was a polka dot theme, we tried to choose items that were circular, if available. Below is the menu:
Finger Foods:
Veggie Platter
Fruit Platter
Chips and Dip
Bruschetta and Bread
Bagel Wedges with Dip
Cracker and Cheese Platter
Cheese Balls and Crackers
Guacamole and Chips
Deli Meats Platter with Rolls
Deviled Eggs
Other Varied Appetizer-y foods
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| Polka dots! |
Desserts:
Cupcakes and Cake
Strawberry Soup
Cheesecake
Almond Cookies
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Fruit Tarts
Drinks
Water
Sodas
Iced Teas
Coffee
Misc. Extras
Ice Cubes with raspberries and mint frozen inside
Invitations have now arrived and are subsequently stuffed into envelopes with the little registry cards, addressed, stamped and mailed. Be sure to keep good records so that you know that everyone that was supposed to get an invite, did. Also, keep a good record of who has RSVP'd. This will help later. Some people when they RSVP, may ask if they can bring something in the food line. Be sure to have your menu list ready and the list of who is making what so that you can tell those incredibly kind people that you already have a veggie platter coming but if they would like to bring a fruit salad that would be greatly appreciated. Another thing you can do is ask them what they enjoy making that fits in with what kind of menu you are doing. Many people have a special dish that they'd love to make.
Now is a good time to think of shower favors. Keep in mind that favors can get expensive so if you're even a little craftsy, you may be able to save yourself some money. For example, at another shower, we made bookmarks (since the bride is an avid reader) and silk flower topped pens. At my cousin's shower, we found cute inexpensive tins and filled them with jellybeans.At my own shower, my girls gave away candles, which some people still have some years later. For this shower, in keeping with the polka dot theme, we found gourmet lollipops and tied pink and green ribbons around them. The post on how to make a stand for the lollipops is forthcoming. Whatever you decide on, make sure that you have the favors arranged well before the shower so that you aren't swamped with things to do the day of the shower.
By now, RSVP's will be flowing in, one hopes. Keep in mind that you will have the complete spectrum of people, from the people that RSVP the moment they receive the invitation in the mail to the people that never respond even after you've called them twice to remind them. It's just how people are. As I said before, keep good records of who is coming and who is not and who hasn't called yet. When the "RSVP by" date has passed, enlist the mother of the bride's help in contacting those that haven't RSVP'd yet to track them down. Count how many you have coming and make sure that you will have enough food, enough chairs and enough favors for all.
With the other bridesmaids, decide on how you are going to decorate. Also decide on who is going to get the needed paraphernalia: plates, cups, hot cups, flatware, tablecloths, balloons, streamers, table centerpieces, napkins, etc. Make sure that whenever something is bought for the shower, the coordinator gets the receipt so that after the shower, the cost of the shower in entirety can be split evenly between the bridesmaids. (Enlist the help of whomever is the best at math, not me in this case.)
When all the the paraphernalia has been purchased and all the the decisions made, it is time to sit back and wait for the day to arrive.
On the day of the shower, have all the bridesmaid arrive earlier to help set up. Decorate the place, set up the tables for food, drinks and gifts. Decide where the bride is going to sit to open gifts. Make sure that she will be easily seen by everyone wherever she sits. As the food, drinks and gifts arrive, set them on their appropriate tables. When the bride arrives, have her get a plate of food and start eating and then have everyone else get their plates. I find that people seem happier when the bride starts opening her gifts right away as they are all eating. It gives everyone something to do while watching the opening of gifts. Before the bride starts opening gifts, ask her to pick a bridesmaid, preferably one with good handwriting, to keep track of who has bought her what in a notebook or sheet of paper that she won't lose. This will help make writing thank you cards much simpler later.
After gifts are opened is a good time to introduce the dessert course and encourage people to mingle and chat with each other. When people start to leave, be sure to thank them for coming and for their kindness and generosity (particularly if they were kind enough to bring food) and remind them to take a favor as they leave.
Pack the bride's car with her gifts and be sure to clean up the venue, attempting to leave it cleaner than you found it. In our case, we cleaned it. It is not humanly possible to leave my mother's house cleaner than you found it but we did try.
The shower was a great success. The bride had a wonderful time and we had plenty of food. The weather was nice and everyone loved having it at my mother's. Thanks to the girls and the mother of the bride for all their help!
Thank you also to the girls whose photos I used in this post since I never took any of my own.
And thank you to my mama for letting us have it there. Everybody loved it, the bride especially. Thanks Mama!
I hope your own shower planning goes beautifully. If I can help in any way, please leave me a comment. I'd be glad to.
Happy planning!!
